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Analysis & Rapid Fire Ratings

Good morning?

It’s a funny state of affairs that some believe it’s not ‘right’ to consider replacing Arry Resdschnapps when he himself has announced he’s considering replacing us. 

Another loss then. Another week of our advantages gained being slowly eroded and we need to explore why. The obvious answer is that we played two top top teams. But the game against Arsenal was joke shop of a game. Had the incredible fortune to score 2 iffy goals in swift succession then conceded 5.

Against Manchester United we actually played well for a long time. Lots of possession. Lots of looking every bit like a home side. We couldn’t get past their midfield, but we were doing a good impression of a mob that were in control.

But possession doesn’t win prizes. 

In both games our manager was found to be tactically out of his depth. Arsenal were greater than the sum of their parts quite simply because the disciplined manner that they played. Van Persie is one of their best players and so they fed him. Bale is one of our best players and we let him go AWOL, living’ his agent’s wet dream.

Ans then against United we replaced Bale with …wait for it, Modric. Our most creative player, most likely to supply the front men player and we stuck him on the wing. 

You know, I would have played Krankie on the wing yesterday or even Rose. The latter’s pretty gormless, but he could have done a job without having to greater a negative impact on our overall shape.

Up front, Adebayor and Saha couldn’t score. Frequently outnumbered and with Modric out wide their supply routes were limited. Defoe should have come on far far sooner.

Defensively we were laughable. Two naff games in a row for a Ledley King who is looking increasing shot to pieces. The last 180 minutes have hurt him and it’s killing us. The Midas touch he had is now working in reverse and where once his presence was infectious, now his vulnerability is seeping into the entire back line.

So what is the answer? Well if Arry isn’t being distracted by his showbiz career then I’m a monkey’s uncle. His Court case naturally overshadowed his managerial efforts. He could well have gone to prison, you know. But who’s fault was that? I didn’t open an account in Monaco and move money about in his name. Nor did any of you. If he conducted his financial affairs like a normal human being opposed to some cartoon character on the run from the mafia this wouldn’t have happened.

Then this England business. Not only do we get lucky that Arry announces he’d like the job but we hit the jackpot as Fabio gets the bullet not a week afterwards.

Since then, the FA have lived up to their reputation and done sod all in slow motion. The press have asked Arry on the hour about the position and on the hour he’s provided blushing quote after blushing quote. He’d play Theo Walnutt, he’d bring Scholesy in.

Of course, it would be vicious and vile of me to ask him what his strategy is for Tottenham against Stevenage. He’s the best manager since Burkinshaw, you know.

We’ve a cracking squad but the man in charge isn’t entirely focused on the job and it’s showing.

5.089 Immobile? 

5. 090 Weak. 

5.777 Knackered.

6.567 Not awful.

6. 566 Not dreadful.

7.802 Possibly his best game in the shirt to date.

7.454 Took the sting out of Scholes.

7.454 Could have been so important, but was stuck on the wing.

7.563 Inspiring stuff.

6.997 Looked damn hungry, then faded.

6.893 Woeful first touch.

8.001 Deployed far too late.